I've decided to change how this journal is written. It will still be a journal of my thoughts and feelings as I grow as a Christian and read the Bible and Christian literature. I just think that it will be hard for me to write about every chapter of every book I read in the Bible without it turning into some kind of chore where I just summarise what I've read. I want to write about how I feel, not just to summarise. Some chapters in the Bible really blow me away with how they speak to me, others simply tell me things, they still speak to me but it's harder for me to take something personal from them. Also, sometimes I like to read more than just one chapter and I don't want to have a big write-up hanging over my head when I do this. I don't want to turn Bible reading into something I end up putting off because I'm too tired or busy to write about it all afterwards. I will continue to write about my growth and experiences and I will still reference the Bible. I can still feel myself being changed as I grow as a Christian and that is a wonderful thing. My life is really starting to change and that excites me and makes me want to write.
So since I last wrote I have celebrated Easter with my new brothers and sisters. This is the first time in my life I've really celebrated Easter, not the chocolate this time but Jesus rising from the dead. I find that God is cutting me a lot of slack in some areas of my new found Way. Christianity is hard but I just feel that a lot of the time I'm being given a helping hand. I desperately wanted to celebrate Easter with my friends and I was invited, without mentioning this, to join them at their church and stay at their house. It was wonderful.
I've started reading Acts lately and to me Acts seems to say a lot about the changes that the Holy Spirit makes in people. We see Peter, who had previously denied being a follower of Jesus when Jesus was captured and questioned, now full of the Holy Spirit, preaching publicly and boldly. We see them jailed for their preaching, released with a warning to stop and yet they continue to preach. In acts I also see the great transformation of Saul from a man on the rampage to stamp out Christianity and throw its followers in jail, to God's chosen instrument to spread his message.
I'm naturally very shy (no matter how many times I've tried to kid myself about this) so to read of this great courage and strength that the Holy Spirit can give me really speaks to me. I'm still shy but I'm already noticing greater courage. I have told members of my family that I am a Christian and I have begun to write this journal online for all to see. I pray that my shyness will go away and maybe next time I'm at my friends' church I'll be able to forget my shyness and sing along with everyone else when they sing to praise God. One day I will sing, it might not sound so great but it will happen, of that I am sure.